iworkfornickfury:

dearjacquelinee:

sometimes i think i miss high school and then..this is pretty accurate

one time i was in class in middle school and i was eating a beef jerky slim jim and the teacher said “stop eating that unless you have enough to share” so i pulled out a box of 200 slim jims (from costco of course) and the teacher fucking confiscated it.

iworkfornickfury:

dearjacquelinee:

sometimes i think i miss high school and then..this is pretty accurate

one time i was in class in middle school and i was eating a beef jerky slim jim and the teacher said “stop eating that unless you have enough to share” so i pulled out a box of 200 slim jims (from costco of course) and the teacher fucking confiscated it.

(Source: ramblers-ghost)

hellabitcoins:

ilovesmoothjazz1998:

hellabitcoins:

aliwav:

listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again

smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on

hellabitcoins
u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables

n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians

hellabitcoins:

ilovesmoothjazz1998:

hellabitcoins:

aliwav:

listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again

smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on

hellabitcoins
u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables

n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians

(Source: vthevegan)

rory-motherfucking-williams:

alexis-cool:

look me in the eye and tell me that none of the initials in “ITT Technical Institute” already stand for “technical” or “institute”

image

(Source: soccerwish)

foxnewsofficial:

cumomelet:

a riddle:

a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?

omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that

annieleonhardt:

boys who hate bright lipsticks because “itll get all over them” fail to realize it will come nowhere near them

weteevee:

I don’t friend zone people, I relationship zone them. You wanna be my friend? Too bad, we’re dating.

(Source: flygoing)

beccamakalapua:

punkasslouis:

punkasslouis:

I’m hiding naked in my closet because there are mattress delivery men in my bedroom and no one thought to tell me so I was just doing my naked thing after my shower and then I was very unceremoniously shoved into my closet and I don’t know how long I have to be here I don’t have snacks or anything

update: I found a chocolate bar on my shelf but also my phone battery is at 20% I feel like bear grylls

don’t you have clothes in your closet

(Source: harrywantsababy)

ragingpaige:

omfg I was walking home from the bus stop and I saw this elderly couple where this woman was pushing her husband in a wheelchair and I was like “aw that’s cute” but as I got closer to them I heard them talking and she was like “you’re a huge asshole, tom” and he was like “JUST PUSH ME INTO A DITCH”

(Source: poppunksuperstar)